mountain biking...

okay right...
yes... i am being awfully inconsistent for like the past week
been all over the place...
my apologies
but yes... to the story...
[p.s. yes this may look like a really long story.... it is... lol... just joshin'... trust me... you'll read through it pretty fast... i write in fragments]


so...
i went to jacksonville this weekend
you know, visiting the fam... and partying like usually
by the way...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SISTER! (this past Friday)
and COUSIN (Today)

but yes...
So Sunday... as in yesterday...
We go to brunch
and Lou (friend of family) comes up with the idea of going mountain biking
of course i'm the sane one to be like
umm... NO, I ain't going
my sister (Rae) and friend of the family (Margaret) contemplate
Luke (other friend) is like "Nah, not again. Last time, they left me in the woods, I got laid out by a Tree and I fell like 4 times"
(Note: I need to stop saying friends of family... they are my fam <3)
So we agree we're just gonna cycle on the beach and then sun bathe
maybe get in the water

but then...
We get back to the house
all types of confused....
some dressed for the beach
some dressed to get dirty...
so finally, we're just like fine...
we'll mountain bike, do a really easy trail and then go lay on the beach

so we get there...
rent 2 extra bikes
since we only had 3...
get ready
hydrate
take a couple pictures...
you know...

So then...
Lou goes over some safety precautions and is like...
"I'm gonna lead, watch out for trees, if you think you're gonna fall, just let go of the bike, make sure you're helmets all the way on" blah blah...
"okay, ready?"
HECK NO!
But we start anyway...
Just getting used to biking again...
around the park a little...

Now on to the trail...
So we start...
Yay!!! Whoo-ho!!!
This is so fun...
Until
"AAAHHHH"
Boom, slap, scratch, Bang...
In my head I'm like
"this nigga.... done set us up for the business"
(please excuse the ignorant slur... but I was kinda mad at the time)
but just imagine
being stuck in the middle of the forest
on a bike...
getting slapped in face by branches
scratched up by all type of crap
bit by human-sized mosquitoes and ish
and to top it off... you just can't stop... theres only one way in... and one way out
THUS... the show had to go on....

then like halfway through the trail...
we realize we're going to wrong way....
which means this aint no EASY trail no more
And Lou's like "i knew this seemed kind of hard"
we going the wrong way up and down all this ish
"this nigga"

Man, I almost died out there...
Especially when I had to like come down a hill, make this sharp turn, ride over a bridge and then...
these fools place a TREE smack dab in the middle of the trail...
like "what the world?"
Them bastards put that crap there on purpose...
All I could do was scream
it was like facing the light at the end of the tunnel
my life flashed before my eyes
and you know its coming, so its like "aww crap"
BAM!
I ran right into that thang...
and then Lou yells from like a mile ahead like... "You alright?"
H3LL NAWH. I'm not alright...
I just rode into a tree... (negroes!)

and then after multiple of us have our little streams where we think we're really are gonna die
he's like "we're almost done... only a few more miles"
"MILES?" (that was everybody)
"O, Lawd" (that was Rae)
"I aint gon' make it" (that was me)
"I'm tryna tell you" (that was Margaret)
"Just go without me" (that was Luke)

But ALL in all, I mean it was actually really fun
you know in a "this is so fun, i can't breathe" sort of way
except I really couldn't breathe
in a "i think i'm gonna die" type of way
in a "i want to commit suicide, so let's go mountain biking" way
though I am overly exaggerating... (a little)
this is how it felt for serious

So finally, we make it out...
SWEATY, tyred, hot!
all cut up, dehydrated
bout to faint
body aching
mad as all h3ll
but happy it was over
all of that...
but above all
RET to go (note for discrepancies ret=ready)

so to end my rampage...
let me just say....
aside from facing death
i had a very enjoyable time
especially with my fam
they're the best
I'm all types of bruised
forearms are tight
and my booty hurt you know from all the bouncing around on the seat going over them trees and stuff...
but it was a good workout
oohhh NOTE: don't think you just gonna hop up and go mountain biking
you need to train for that there....
that's something serious....

anywho... I am in the process of getting these before and after pictures...
the difference... is mad funny...
trust me...

until next time
love ya like a massage i need so bad right now...
<3>